Looking at my reflection

And out of nowhere he was casted away from the rest,

all hopes layed down staring at what blead inside his chest

a heavy heart, a piece of mine

all I have forgotten to none of these are find

till the day is done

then I will shout nay

till my breath is done

then I will love

till thee

say

no

I see my eyes starting to glisten of tears...

It's been eight months since I've started my journey into what most would call "the real world".

It's been that long and I find myself staring at the stranger I see in the mirror. I asked him why such the long face? He told me that he was glad to see me and asked why It took me such a long time to find him. I felt really bad that I let him down. He confided to me about how things have gone so bad. It took him every ounce of strength he had left to make one last effort to make things right.

And so his journey unfolded..

He started out like this you see, all bruised and battered up. Then we met, and worked some kinks out and in the middle of it all, he was rising and taking what was his. He was getting things done, doing things right, commendations from left to right, compliments here and there. He even started earning a little extra on the side...people loved him and praised him and everyone wanted a piece of his pie.

Now look at him. All washed up and battered up again. Deep in debt, weary all the time, a case working up against him in court, his relationship on the ropes, unpayed bills, his savings account overdrawn..ho-ho...

What more can you ask for?

And so now my battle for self-recuperation begins...I have know take the first step into finding myself and the mess I've created in my life. I've done this before and I can do it all over again.

One at a time

1. First things first, I've to reorganize my expenses in order to pay up for my my bills and my debt. It's going to take a little more sacrifice in order to clear up on it but money is a very sensitive issue and so i want to have that away as soon as possible.
2. Number 2 is more of out of my reach but all the same goes, I'm going to be in full support of whatever terms are deciding on my faith lying in the hands of mom's lawyer friend...(God help me!).
3. I've neglected myself for the past few months and I'd like to take the opportunity to takecare of myself and lessen my chances of getting lung cancer (seriously!).
4. As for my relationship issues, I've to suck it in and take it like a man...(whatever the outcome is=c)
5. I have to live a little more...

It has come to my attention that somewhere in the middle of it all, I have seem to lost touch of my life. I've concentrated to much in my personal affairs that I've forgetten everything else...It's time to get that life back and work from there again. This is going to be really tough, but I'll get there...someday soon...