Wednesday, May 25, 2005

back to square one

I hate it that I'm so transparent...

They saw right through me. I felt like I was a sight to behold, a show, an entertainment to satisfy their curiosity, their hunger for wanting to know what's going on.

I hope some of them did really care..

Why is this so hard when I've been here before? Why does my heart still cry even if I knew someday, there was a possibility she would go? My anguish in defeat for what I caused...for driving her away.

The fault was mine...

Was I too demanding? Was I too possessive? Was I too mean? Did I lack something? Was I not able to do something? Maybe all those and more...I just wish I could have it alll back...I'm in a world of pain now...

but I will do this...I have to...

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